A One Piece Carol
by three-days-late
Summary: In a modern AU setting, Zoro's acting a bit Scroogey, Usopp has Cratchet-tendencies, and Chopper is Tiny like Tim.
1. Part I: Enter Sanji

**Merry Christmas!! This year I bring you something completely original that no one has _ever _thought of doing before. Yes, that was sarcasm. If we count this as the 20th, then if I post one part a day, I should be done by Christmas. And I am going to finish this**

**One Piece's lovely characters belong to not me, and the story _A Christmas Carol_ isn't mine either, that was written by Charles Dickens, but I don't think that matters because it was written before copyright laws. Please don't sue.  
**

* * *

Sanji was dead. That is a fact. It may be morbid to start a story off this way, but it is necessary. In order to understand anything else that happens from this point onward, one fact must remain consistent:

Sanji was as dead as a doornail.

Zoro knew Sanji was dead. They were partners for who knows how long. He was one who paid for the damn funeral and was one of the only people who bothered to show up. For reasons unknown, he still kept both their names on the logo. Zoro, Sanji, it didn't matter whose name was where, for Zoro was a man of business, and that is what he did best.

Zoro was a serious man. He was a man of money wasn't the type of guy who would stop in the middle of the street and have a chat with an old friend. He was a cold man who wasn't the kind to care about peace on earth and good will towards men as long as it left him alone, and he certainly wasn't one to care about Christmas.

And here we find Zoro on Christmas Eve, him and one worker, a loyal man by the name of Usopp, slaving away with the heat on low (gas prices these days…) when all of a sudden an unexpected visitor decides to pop in.

"Yo! Cousin Zoro!" An eccentric man by the name of Franky, who did happen to be Zoro's cousin/only living relative, says. "I've unexpectedly decided to drop by! Isn't that super?"

"What do you want?" Zoro spits out without looking up.

"Merry Christmas!"

"Humbug!"

"Seriously? That's the best you could come up with?"

"It's not very original or creative." Usopp agrees.

"Do you want a pay cut long-nose!" Usopp shuts up and goes back to work.

"Dude, don't be so harsh on him. It's Christmas!"

Zoro merely looks up at his cousin and gives him a glare. "What's so great about Christmas? You're still poor."

"And you're still rich! Why so serious?"

"What's so great about Christmas? You still have bills to pay and no money to do it, and I'm _not_ lending you any, if that's why you're here. You're still a year older and none the wiser, if the fact that you're wearing a damn Speedo in _December_ says anything. Peace on earth? Ha! Good will towards men? Double ha! If I had my way, every idiot who went around shouting 'Merry Christmas' would end up boiled in oil or something equally horrendous."

"Cuz, you don't mean that!"

"Keep Christmas in your way and I'll keep it in mine!"

"But you don't do anything with it…" Franky mutters.

"So? What good has Christmas ever been to me or anyone?"

"Geeze man Christmas isn't about that stuff. It's about being good towards everyone; opening your heart for once instead of just stepping on all the little guys! I say Christmas has been super to me, and will continue to be super to me and God bless it for that!"

"Amen!" Usopp shouts at the end of his speech, only to receive a death glare from his boss.

"Don't be like that dude." Franky leans against Zoro's desk. "Come and eat Christmas dinner with Robin and me. It'll be SUPER!! You never stop by anymore."

"No thank you. Kindly get off my desk now. Some of us actually have work to do."

Franky obliges, but doesn't relent. "Even if it's just for a bit…"

"Go away."

"Ya can't just lock yourself away forever man…"

"Go away."

"Be that way. Merry Christmas to you, cuz."

"Go away!"

"And an even happier New Year!"

"GO AWAY!"

Franky leaves then, only stopping to exchange a quick 'Merry Christmas' with Usopp and sneak a wreath on the office door.

As he is leaving a man with a long, square nose and a baseball cap pulled over his face and a blonde woman wearing a short skirt despite the weather who was currently adjusting her glasses make their way into the office.

"Excuse me," the long-nosed man asks the long-nosed assistant, "I was told by the lady downstairs that Mr. Sanji's office was up here?"

"Mr. Sanji has been dead for years." Zoro says without bothering to look up.

"Then you must be Mr. Zoro?" He asks. Zoro merely grunts in response.

"We have no doubt his liberality is well represented in his surviving partner." the woman smiles. Zoro frowns and still doesn't look up.

"You see, Mr. Zoro," the man says, "at this time of the year, it is only naturally that the poor and destitute should want common necessities and comforts and-"

"Are there no prisons?" Zoro interrupts.

"Well, yes, but-"

"And the homeless shelters? They're still working?"

"To an extent." The woman replies.

"Oh good. I was wondering, for a moment, if they had ceased operations, but if they're still working…"

"Usually," the man went on, "during this time of year, people's giving spirits come forth and they are more likely to help out there fellows in greater need. What should I put you down for?"

"Nothing."

"You want to be anonymous?" The women asked.

"No. I want you to get the hell out of here and leave me alone!"

"But Mr. Zoro," the man insists, "without a donation these people might be dead by next morning."

"Then let them die and decrease the population. Besides you don't know for sure if they'll die."

"You don't know for sure they won't."

"Of course I do. Now get the hell out! And tell the women downstairs she's fired!" Under he's fierce words and fiercer scare, both intruders scamper out and a lightning speed.

Work continues, until, as it usually happens, closing time creeps up on the workers. Usopp hands in the days reports and lingers a moment longer in Zoro's office.

"I'm guessing you want the day off tomorrow…"

"If it's not too much trouble."

"It is trouble. Closing business for a day…it's ridiculous."

"Very," Usopp agreed, "but Christmas is only once a year. And everyone else is closed too anyway."

"Fine then, you and the other minions can have the day off tomorrow, but I want you in here early on the 26th, got it?"

"Yes sir, of course!" Usopp manages to keep his inner celebrations to himself until he's far far away from the building.

Zoro leaves sometime afterwards (the girl at the front desk seems to have left on her own) and heads straight back to his lonely mansion just outside of the city. He makes it home without too much of a hassle, until he approaches the front door.

The front door of Zoro's mansion is not very impressive, just a really expensive piece of wood, a door knob, and a knocker, mostly for show since if anyone were to actually call on Zoro, the door bell would be more appropriate. Yet, as Zoro approached the door, he couldn't help to find himself startled. For one thing, the air contained the peculiar stench of tobacco. Zoro didn't smoke, and he didn't have any neighbors at all. In fact, the only person he knew who did smoke was his late partner. This was rather peculiar, but what probably startled him more was that said partner's face had now appeared on the door knocker.

Zoro takes a few troubled steps back and blinks, not quite believing that Sanji's face has appeared on his front door, and sure enough, it and the smell are gone just as soon as they appeared. He mutters something about a trick of the light, despite the fact that light has nothing to do with random smells, and continues into his house.

His night continues as per norm. Zoro eats his meal alone in the dark (electric bills these days…) before heading upstairs to get ready for bed. Just as he's about to change though, the clock in the hallway strikes twelve and the bedroom door, which was definitely shut, flies open as if a gust of wind suddenly burst through the house. Zoro quickly runs over to shut it, but as he does so, the same tobacco smell that assaulted his nose outside returns and he hears what sounds like chains shuffling behind him in the room. Slowly, Zoro shuts the door and turns around to face…

"Yo, Marimo. Long time no see." His dead business partner, Sanji, standing there in the suit he used to wear, smoking the cigarette he used to smoke, cover with the chains he used to wear all over his body. Actually the chains were never there, and his overall appearance was rather…ghostly.

"You…wha…you're dead!" Zoro points and shouts.

"No shit. Glad you're still around to clear these things up." Sanji takes a drag from his cigarette, smoke disappearing as soon as it leaves his mouth, and shuffles over to one of the two armchairs in the room, chains rattling the whole way. "Sit down shithead; I need to talk to you."

"You…you're not real."

Sanji cockily raises an eyebrow. "Really now? Well, you can see me right? Can hear what I'm saying? Can smell my smoke?" He exhales again to make his point.

"Things can easily mess with your senses. For all I know you could be a piece of moldy cheese or something."

"You would eat that crap now that I'm dead. Can't even take care of yourself…"

"Well at least I'm still alive Mr. Let's-keep-smoking-after-getting-diagnosed-with-lung-cancer-and-hope-that-cures-everything!"

"Touché. You still think I'm not real?"

Zoro nods his head. Sanji responds by standing up and kicking out his foot, somehow managing to wrap is ghostly chains around his friend's stomach. When he puts his foot down to reel him in close, Sanji proceeds to get right up in Zoro's face, close enough for the man to feel his cold breath, and says, "What about now? Still think I'm a figment of whatever shit you've eaten?" He shakes his head.

"Good." Sanji releases the chains and sits back down. "Now sit down. I still need to talk to you."

Shakily, Zoro lowers himself into the other armchair. "What's up with those things anyway?"

"You like?" He holds the chains up for Zoro's inspection. "I created them you know. With all of the sins I committed while I was alive. Now I'm forced to carry them with me as I wander the earth until the end of times."

"Can't you just go to heaven or hell or wherever and leave us living folks alone?"

"I wish I could, Marimo, but I refused to see anything of the world outside my office while I was part of the living, I must do so now that I'm dead."

"You didn't need to do that, you were a man of business and you were good at what you did."

"That's a coward's excuse. I could have done something for the world." Sanji sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, looking far wearier then he ever had in life. "I haven't been able to rest since my death…"

"That sucks." Zoro says bluntly before adding as an afterthought, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Marimo." He chuckles a low chuckle that thoroughly creeps Zoro out. "For you see, your chain is _much_ heavier than mine."

Zoro shoots out of his chair and stumbles back a few steps. "What do you want with me?"

Sanji stands and approaches his friend. "I'm here to warn you, to spare you my fate, because I'm a nice guy like that."

"Yeah, _that's_ why you have those chains…"

"Tonight," Sanji goes on, ignoring him, "you will be visited by three spirits. If you wish to repent, then take their lessons to heart!"

"Are you one of these spirits?"

"You're not getting out of this that easy, shithead. I'm just a messenger." Sanji saunters over to the window before opening it and taking one final drag of his cigarette. "My time here is almost up. Except the first spirit when the clock strikes one. And Marimo," he forces his former partner to make eye contact, "don't waste this chance." With that, he steps onto the window sill and vanishes.

Zoro stares at the empty window for a bit before getting his senses together. He mutters something about 'moronic ghosts that can't stay dead' and 'stupid illusions' before finally settling himself down to sleep the night away.

* * *

**Oh hey, I actually managed to kill off Sanji. What do you know...**


	2. Part II: The Ghost of Christmas Past

**Happy Hanukkah! Actually it's not Hanukkah anymore, is it? Well it is the first official day of winter, so happy that. Two days, two updates! Yes! I can definitely keep this up until Christmas! Go me!**

**Should be noted, the most recent version of _A Christmas Carol_ I've seen is the Muppets version, were the Marleys were definitely at the party. Other versions I've seen say he wasn't, but it was another excuse to have Sanji show up, so I went with it. :P  
**

**Enjoy Part II of the epic Christmas tale!**

**Anon reviews:**

**Amy: **Yes! Thank you! Saying that makes me feel SUPER!! *coughs and shuffles embarrassed* So far so good. ;)

**As always I own nothing. I'm not even the only person who thought of putting these two together...**

* * *

Indeed, the clock did eventually strike one, as most clocks tend to do. Going against the norm, Zoro actually wakes up because of it. As soon as he sees the clock and remembers Sanji's message, he turns over and goes back to sleep, only to get hit in the head by a shoe.

"Hey! Wake up! You are the laziest client I've ever had!"

Zoro sits up, rubbing his head, and sees what appears to be a young, orange-haired girl with brown eyes, dressed completely in white, missing a sandal.

"Can I help you?" Zoro asks groggily.

She smacks her head. "Please tell me that idiot actually _showed up_ and didn't flake…"

"Hm? Oh yeah, Sanji…yeah he was here. You the first spirit?"

Upon hearing this, the girl perks up and completely changes her demeanor to a more innocent one. "Why yes. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past. Zoro Roronoa, I am here to show you what Christmas was like in your past."

"That's it? You know, I kinda know what already happened with those, so I'm just going to go back to sleep now…"

"No you don't!" She puts her shoe back on before walking over to Zoro to grab his ear and start twisting it. "There are a million other things I could be doing right now other than lecturing your lazy ass, but no. I'm here so we're doing this." The Ghost, who is a lot stronger than she looks, drags Zoro to the window and stands on the sill.

"Wait! I'm human! I can't fly!"

"Tough luck." Without warning or letting go of his ear, she jumps, bringing Zoro with her.

Zoro lands in a pile of snow face first. After righting himself, he takes a look at his surrounds and notices the Ghost standing outside his old middle school.

"That was completely unnecessary! I could have died you know!"

"You're fine. Now come on! We've got a lot of ground to cover." She grabs his arm and leads him into the building.

"Selfish bitch…" Zoro mutters but when the Ghost turns go glare at him, he says, "Why are we here?"

"We're here for you, so be grateful." They pass by classroom after classroom and a few stragglers wandering the hallways, but when Zoro tries to get them to notice his predicament, they completely ignore him.

"We're in your memories. They won't notice us and we can't interfere with them." She stops suddenly outside room 123. "Aren't you happy to be back at your old school, Zoro?"

Zoro snorts. "This hellhole? Who would?"

"Really? You used to spend a lot of time here though, didn't you?" She opens the door and walks in. Zoro, with nothing better to do, follows.

Inside the room, little Zoro is sitting at one of the desks, wearing his old school uniform, intently reading a book.

"Even though it's Christmas…you know most schools are closed on Christmas." The Ghost shakes her head.

"It's a boarding school." Zoro murmurs, staring at his younger self, remembering. "The school was always open, even if there were no classes."

"And you had nothing better to do, of course." The Ghost shakes her head and sighs. "Your childhood wasn't very happy."

"No. My sister Kuina was always sick and my father…thought it best if I wasn't around much." He sits down and the desk next to his younger self who is still reading. "It's a fairy tale book, you know. Sometimes I wish…but it doesn't matter now. That time has long past."

The Ghost merely put a hand on his shoulder, innocent demeanor back in place. "You've had some happy Christmases yes? Let's go find them."

Without hearing Zoro's opinion on the matter, she grabs his wrist and leads him out the classroom door into a huge ballroom, completely decorated for the season.

"I remember this…" Zoro says as he steps further into the room. "I used to be an intern at Smoker's old company. We did, Sanji and me." He turns his head, taking in the lights and happy faces of the party goers of old. "Geezer used to throw one hell of a Christmas Party."

"I'll bet." The Ghost was currently eyeing a group of wealthy looking men. "Anyway, we should find you, or else you won't learn jack and this would have been a waste of my time."

"God forbid we waste your precious time…aren't you immortal?"

"Not the point." She pushes Zoro through the crowd until they spy a green haired young man standing alone by the refreshment table. "Well don't you look happy."

"It's a party…with people. People were always more Sanji's thing."

They weren't the only ones to notice young Zoro all alone, for the next moment a (rather drunk) Smoker comes over and slings an arm around his shoulders.

"Wha'ddya doin' o'er 'ere?" He somehow manages to get out. "Party's o'er there!"

"I'm…fine, Mr. Smoker. Christmas isn't really my thing."

"Wuzzat? Chris'mas's everyone's thing!" He motions over to where young Sanji is currently surrounded by his harem of girls that Zoro remembers followed him at almost every social occasion he was at. "C'mon! Light'n up for once! Lifen't all 'bout numbers 'n money!" He winks at young Zoro before moseying on over to some other part of the room to mingle.

"He seems like a fun guy." The Ghost says after he leaves.

"He was. Hell of a mentor too."

"Probably should have taken some of his lessons to heart, hm?" She harshly pokes his shoulder to get the point across.

"Yeah, I get." Zoro rubs his injured shoulder, "are we done here?"

"You want to leave already? Don't you want to see what happens next?"

"What are you talking about?"

"This is where you meet her, isn't it?" She nods to the other side of the room. Both Zoros follow her gaze and see a beautiful blue haired girl in a green cocktail dress trip and loose her glasses. While young Zoro immediately goes over to help her, Zoro just stares.

"Tashigi…"

"You loved her, didn't you?" Zoro just nods. "What a waste of time that must have been. How many years did you spend chasing her that you could have spent making money?"

"It…wasn't…" He stops when he feels the spirit grab his wrist again."

"C'mon, we're almost done." She leads him through the crowd and to the back door. Upon opening it and stepping outside, Zoro finds himself in a snow covered courtyard where younger Zoro and Tashigi are sitting on a bench.

"Spirit…take me home. I don't want to see this."

"Tough. You have to. It's part of your learning."

"I've learned enough. It was bad enough going through this once!"

"Too bad." She squeezed his wrist until it hurt and forced him to watch the scene before them.

"I'm sorry, Zoro. I just can't keep this up." Tashigi says as she turns away from him.

"Keep what up? What are you talking about Tash?" Younger Zoro tries to get her to face him, but she refuses.

"I'm tired of fighting this losing fight for your attention."

"Don't listen to the fan girls. Sanji and are I just business partners, I swear."

"I'm not talking about him; I'm talking about your money."

"If it's between that and you, I don't see much of a competition Tash."

"Me neither, considering you spend twenty hours a day with it…"

"What?! What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," she gets up off the bench and turns to face him, "that you care more about money then about us, and I was able to put up with it for a while because I love you but if we're really going to get married…"

"Tash, wait!" younger Zoro stands up as well and grasps her shoulders. "It won't be much longer. As soon as I have enough I'll be able to spend as much time as I want with you."

"When will it be enough Zoro?" Tashigi slowly takes his hands and lowers them. "When we have enough to live? Enough to live comfortably? To live more than comfortably? It's an endless cycle; as soon as you're in, there's never enough." She lets go of his hands and takes a few tentative steps away from him.

"No…" he mutters as she steps away, "Damnit Tash! I'm doing this for you!"

She stops and steps forward again to cup his cheek in her hand. "I never wanted any of this. I only ever wanted you." She quickly kisses his cheek before letting go and backing up again. "Good-bye, Zoro."

"Spirit," Zoro says to the Ghost next to him, "take me home now. I've had enough."

The Ghost responds by squeezing his wrist and walking him away from the scene. "We're not done quite yet."

She leads him into the city, to a small townhouse somewhere on the other side from where Zoro lives and works.

"I don't remember this place…"

"I'm sure you don't." A man who Zoro has never seen walking down the street walks up the steps to one of the doors and waltzes inside. He and the Ghost follow, stopping only to hear the door knocker that says 'Trafalgar.'

"I don't know anyone named Trafalgar…"

"Sure about that?"

Trafalgar takes off his white beanie and yellow sweater before calling out, "I'm home!" Zoro hears someone running down the stairs and gawks when Tashigi comes into view.

"Law!" She runs the rest of the way and throws her arms around the man forcing him to stumble back a few steps.

"Guess who I saw today." He says as they let go. "An old friend of yours."

"Law, you know I'm not good at guessing games, just tell me."

"Psh, what kind of name is Law anyway?" Zoro mutters.

"Jealous much?" The Ghost smirks at him.

Zoro is about to retort, but before he can Law exclaims, "Why, it was that Mr. Zoro fellow."

"Zoro? I haven't heard that name in ages…what's he been up to?"

"Not really sure. I just saw him on his way to work. In this dismal weather and everything. Isn't that partner of his, Mr. Sanji I believe he's called, isn't he on his death bed?"

"Yes, he was diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of the year. He wasn't looking to good when I went to see him."

"What the…when the hell did she visit Sanji?!"

"You were too busy working, so someone had to." The Ghost points out. Zoro shuts up after that.

"Poor Mr. Zoro, working when his only friend is stuck in the hospital." Law shakes his head to Zoro's infuriation. He doesn't need this man's pity.

"They were never very close," Tashigi points out, "always fighting, from what I can remember."

"Spirit, take me home." Zoro says deadpanned. "Let's get out of here."

"Very well, my time is up anyway." They leave through the front door and end up back in Zoro's bedroom.

The Ghost walks over to the window, leaving Zoro in the middle of the room.

"The next spirit will be here when the clock strikes two," she looks over her shoulder at him, something that could be mistaken for kindness in her eyes, "try to get some rest until then. Trust me, you'll need it."

With that she steps out of the window and disappears. Zoro blinks but follows her advice and gets into bed, reflecting on what she showed him.

* * *

**Did I just...LawxTashigi? I don't even know...**


	3. Part III: The Ghost of Christmas Present

**Happy Kwanzaa! Which according to my calendar is the 26th this year, along with Ashura *insert Zoro pun here* and Boxing Day, which would be a really cool holiday except America doesn't celebrate it. *Gets shot by the natives of every other English-speaking nation***

**Right, anyway, here's part three. Two more parts to go! Woot!**

**Enjoy.**

**Anon reviews:**

**Amy: **Must be the real reason she broke it off, didn't want to stand in the way of their true love. :P Of course! Ego boosts = win. :) Thank you! :D

**None of the characters are mine. Neither is the plot. Please don't sue, I have no money.**

* * *

The clock strikes two, waking Zoro from his slumber. He immediately turns over to go back to sleep, only to be awoken again by someone banging his bedroom door open.

"GOOD MORNING! Come in and know me better man!"

Zoro, after recovering from the heart attack, takes a look at the intruder, a young man with black hair, wearing a green robe and a straw hat, eating a piece of meat from who knows where.

"Uh…you're the one who came in, so…"

"Oh, you're right." He says as if he just figured it out (which Zoro thinks he might have). "I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present, and this is a delicious piece of meat."

"Did you get that from my fridge?"

"No! I liberated it…from your fridge." He waves this fact off and shoves the rest of it in his mouth. "If 'ot 'ike you're 'oing oo fare it a'yway."

"I…might have shared it…if you asked."

"That's a good one." He says after finally swallowing. "C'mon let's go! We've so much to see and only so much time to do it in!" The spirit walks over to the open window and extends his hand. Zoro shrugs, figuring this night can't really get much weirder, and jumps out the window with him.

Zoro lands right side up this time in the middle of the city street with the Ghost right behind him.

"You took me outside? Thank you so much, I would _never_ have been able to do that without your help."

"You're welcome." the spirit smiles. "You don't get out much, do you? So this is a treat for you! Kishishi." He laughs while guiding Zoro down the street. "Take in the sights while you can, 'cause we still got work to do."

Zoro did as he was told, glancing up and down the streets, seeing merry people going about their merry way merrily.

"Is this…"

"Yup! Tomorrow morning! Or actually, later today…whatever it's Christmas!" He grabs Zoro's hands and runs down the street, laughing the whole way, until he brings them to one of the houses on the street. Not a very spectacular house, but it does its job of providing shelter for its inhabitants.

"Something smells gooood." The Ghost says as he sniffs the air. "Let's see what's cooking!" He barges in, Zoro at his heels.

Inside can only be described as pure chaos, but in a good way. Zoro witnesses three small children, two girls and a boy, running around creating all sorts of destruction in their wake, but their laughter will make anyone forgive them.

"Aisa! Chimney! Ninjin!" A beautiful blonde woman appears from the kitchen. "Your father and Chopper will be home soon, so clean up this mess."

"Yes Mom!" They say in unison before running around the house, tripping over each other in the process. Zoro and their mother both laugh at their antics.

Suddenly the door bursts open to reveal Zoro's assistant, Usopp, carrying a small crutch and an even smaller turkey, with a small boy with light brown hair, dark chocolate eyes, and (Zoro rubs his eyes to make sure he's not seeing things) a blue nose perched on his shoulders.

"Kids! Kaya! We're back!" Usopp shouts jovially as he lowers the boy to the floor and hands him a crutch.

"Yeah! And we got the best turkey in the whole place! It was terrorizing everyone in the city, but Papa single-handedly slay it, didn't you Papa?" The boy turns his innocent eyes towards his father, who laughs a little too loudly.

"That's right! It was a truly frightening, fire-breathing beast! The citizens were lucky I was around when I was, or they would have been toast, no pun intended."

"Really Papa? That's amazing!"

"Papa's full of it." Ninjin says from the corner of the room he's cleaning.

"No he's not!" Chopper insists. "Tell them, Papa!"

"Of course not, would I lie to you kids?"

"Then why's it so small?" Aisa asks as she takes the bird from him.

"Because…it was so terrifying and evil that most of it is unfit for the consumption of angels such as yourselves."

"Ninjin right Papa," Chimney states, "you're full of it."

"Amazing!" The Ghost says. "I can't believe he was able to beat such a terrifying monster!"

"He's lying." Zoro states matter of factly.

"No way! How can you tell?" Zoro responds by whacking his head.

"Even the children can tell it's a lie. Well, most of them." He nods at Chopper. "What's wrong with the little one?"

"He's sick. Some funky sounding disease of some kind that I can't name." The Ghost says as they wander over to the kitchen, Chimney and Ninjin helping Chopper on the way.

"How was Chopper today?" Kaya asks her husband after they exchange a kiss.

"As good as gold, and better! I swear he gets so thoughtful sometimes. I'm pretty sure he'll find the gosh darn cure himself one day soon!"

Kaya just laughs and continues preparing the meal with the help of her husband and the children.

"Hey," Zoro says, gaze never leaving little Chopper. "Will he die?"

"Everyone dies at sometime you know…"

"I mean soon!"

The spirit sighs, showing weariness that Zoro would never have guess he had. "I see a vacant chair by the chimney and a crutch without an owner. If fate remains unchanged, then yes, he will die. Soon."

"What?!" Zoro faces him with a look as if that answer physically hurt him in some way. "That can't be!"

"What of it if he does?" The Ghost shrugs, chewing on a piece of meat. "Let him die and decrease the population."

Zoro turns back to the happy family scene, biting his lower lip.

"You see what I did there-"

"I see what you did there!" He sighs and stares at the Ghost. "Where did you get that meat?"

"They just left it sitting there…" Zoro hits him again.

By this time the family has gotten the meal to the table and has proceeded to sit down, Usopp at one end with Chopper next to him, Kaya on the other, and the rest of the children somewhere in between.

"Merry Christmas everyone!" Usopp says as he raises his glass.

"God bless us everyone!" Chopper eagerly shouts, bringing giggles and smiles to everyone in the room, even Zoro.

"To Mr. Zoro," Usopp exclaims, "the founder of this feast!"

Zoro, taken aback by the unexpectedness of that statement, blushes and looks away until he hears Kaya scoff.

"Hmph. Founder of the feast indeed. There are a few things I'd like to 'say' to him if he were here right now, if you know what I mean."

Zoro blinks. He never thought the frail looking woman had it in her. The girls giggle quietly behind their hands, while Ninjin shakes his head and Chopper looks expectantly up at his father.

"Kaya, love, its Christmas Day…"

"It better be Christmas if we're drinking to such tight-fisted ogre of a man as Mr. Zoro. You know he is, Usopp, probably better than anyone."

"Kaya…Christmas…think about the children."

Kaya shoots him a glare that would have even Chuck Norris quake in his boots. "Fine, I'll drink to his health, but for your sake, not his." She lifts her glass. "Long life to him. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and all that jazz. I'm sure he'll be _very_ happy." She downs her drink in one shot, with the rest of the family follows suite, the last to drink being tiny Chopper.

Zoro and the Ghost stay throughout most of the feast, watching the family festivities while the Ghost steals whatever food is left unattended. When the sun just starts to set and the snow starts to pick up though, the spirit drags Zoro out of the house and down the street once more.

"That was soooo good!" The Ghost exclaims as the walk.

"You probably eat more of their meal then they did."

"Because it was good! If anything it was a compliment." Somehow they have made it to the other side of the city, and the spirit stops outside one of the townhouses on the street. Without preamble he runs up the steps and bursts into the house, Zoro following him in.

Upon entering, Zoro heard laughter, lots of laughter, coming from the dining room. The Ghost excitedly heads towards this, dragging him with him. In the dining room, Zoro finds his cousin and his wife along with their friends, a bunch of people from the shipping company where Franky works.

"And then," Franky is saying, "he goes on and on about how 'Christmas is bad' and some other pretty unsuper nonsense." This brings more laughter from everyone at the table. "My cousin…sometimes I wonder about him."

His wife, a lovely woman with straight dark hair by the name of Robin, shakes her head solemnly. "More shame for him then."

"He's a funny guy, Zoro, and sure, he's not the nicest guy around, but he's actions have their own costs, and I have no reason to hate him. Dude is family, ya know?"

"He's rich though, right?" A blonde man with a cigar between his teeth asks.

"That is what you always tell me." Robin adds.

"Sure he is, but it's not like it's doing him any good! It's not like he ever spends anything. And no, Paulie, he isn't going to ever give us anything ever, so you're on your own with those creditors."

Paulie looks dejectedly away while Robin says, "I do not know how you can deal with him, Franky. I certainly have no patience for him."

"He's family, but even if he wasn't I couldn't be angry at the guy. Just thinking about him…all alone at Christmas…hell, all the time he's up in the big out by himself…i-it's just…so sad!" At that, Franky bursts into tears, moving one of his massive arms up to his face to cover his eyes.

Robin gets up and walks over to comfort her husband. "I-idiots! I'm n-not crying!"

"Come darling." Robin kisses his forehead and walks over to the piano in the corner of the room. "I'll play you a song to cheer you up." And play she did. Zoro was certain he had never heard such sweet tones coming from any instrument ever. The music filters throughout the room, perking Franky up instantly and bringing back the light, cheerful conversation that was there before.

After some time, the spirit taps Zoro on the shoulder and nods to the door, indicating that it's time to go.

"Oh, hey, I just got a SUPER idea! Let's play a game!"

"Can we just stay for one game?" Zoro asks. "They still have food on the table you know."

The Ghost thinks about this for a bit. "Alright, we'll stay until all the food is gone-I mean, for one game." He turns his attention to the uneaten food on the table while the rest of the party goes into the living room.

The game was a simple guessing game: Franky was to think of something, anything at all, and his guests were to ask yes or no questions in order to figure out what it was. There are a few protests, mostly from Paulie, about how lame that sounds, but after a while everyone got really into it. They had managed to get that it was a living, rather disagreeable, savage animal that growled and grunted sometimes, talked sometimes, lived in the city, walked about the streets, wasn't made a show of, or led by anyone, and wasn't a horse, or a cow, or a bull, or a tiger, or a dog, or a pig, or a cat, or a bear.

"Tigers don't live in the city…" Robin comments.

Franky just laughs at every question tossed his way, until his childhood friend, a man by the name of Iceburg, makes a startled noise and exclaims, "I've got it."

All the guests turn to give him their full attention. "It's your cousin, Zoro."

"Yes! Dude's given us a lot of laughs tonight. It'd be lame not to at least drink to the guy's health."

The rest of the guests mutter incoherently, but Robin raises her glass and says, "To Cousin Zoro." Franky grins widely as everyone else follows suite.

Zoro probably would have said something in return, but the Ghost chose that moment to reappear next to him, mouth full of food, and silently nod to the door again, so they leave.

They continue to walk down the streets, stopping here and there to see what was going on, finding joy and merriment wherever they went. As the day (or night, Zoro really had no idea what time it was now) went on, he noticed that his spirit friend grew wearier and wearier.

"You okay?" He asked when they arrived on the outskirts of town.

"Hm? Yeah, I only live for a day, so I'm going to die soon, but it's cool."

"Oh, okay then. Wait what?"

"No, it's cool. The third guy'll be here when the clock strikes three, so you'll be fine."

Zoro's about to say more, but the sight of two of the most horrifying children he had ever laid eyes on peek out from behind the spirit's robe.

"W-Who are they?" Zoro asks. He tries to say that they are lovely children, but he's not one to lie about such things.

"Them?" The Ghost takes a step back, bringing them into to full view so that he can see that one is supposed to be a boy and one is supposed to be a girl.

"Are they yours?"

"They're everyone's. They keep following me around from some reason. The boy is Noko, or I like to call him Ignorance. The girl is Yoko, but I call her Want." A clock in the distance chimes once.

"Watch out for both of them," he goes on, "and everything they can do, but mostly watch out for the boy. I can see 'Doom' written on him, unless the writing be erased somehow."

Zoro opts not to point out that all writing remains until it is erased and instead asks, "Isn't there some place they can take refuge?" The clock chimes a second time.

The Ghost raises an eyebrow. "Are there no prisons? Are there no homeless shelters?"

The clock chimes a third and final time, and the spirit vanishes.

* * *

**For those of you who only read manga, or just plain forgot, because they're annoying, Noko is a small child who steals the crew's memory in the Ocean's Dream filler. Yoko is an annoying little Marine girl who is annoying, stupid, pointless, and made it take a month for Bon-chan to show up, in the recent Movie Special fillers. Filler children were the only ones terrifying enough to fill those rolls.**


	4. Part IV: The Ghost of Christmas Future

**Happy Winter Solstice! That might have been more appropriate for Monday, now that I think about it. Well, we've got 3 more years before the world ends, so party it up like it's 2012!**

**This is part four. It's a lot longer than it was supposed to be. Oops. One more left though.**

**Enjoy.**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

Zoro waits, wondering where the last spirit that Sanji promised was, while creepy fog rolled in around him. All of a sudden, creepy music fills the air and a figure approaches so Zoro stands up from his spot on the ground and walks over to him? Her? It? He can't tell, for it is wearing a black cloak, completely covering anything that would normally give this kind of thing away. All Zoro can see are the two boney hands clutching the violin from where the music is coming from.

"Are you the third spirit?" Zoro asks as soon as he's in hearing range. The spirit turns to face Zoro, and without missing a beat on the instrument, nods slowly, but unmistakably.

"So, if I was just in the past and present, you're the future, right?" Another nod. Zoro shuffles awkwardly under his gaze (assuming, of course, he's a he, and he has eyes).

"To tell you the truth, you're the only ghost I've met tonight that's actually managed to scare me." The music stops for a bit before picking right back up again. "But, I know you're here to help me, and I would like to try being a better person, so I can deal with that." The music stops altogether, and Zoro can't help but feel vulnerable under his scrutiny.

"Are you going to talk to me at all?" The Ghost put his violin back into playing position and picks up the song where he left off before turning away and walking down the street. Zoro picks up the pace and follows after him.

He leads them down an alleyway where they pass by a group of business men, talking amongst themselves. Suddenly the music stops, so Zoro takes that as his cue to eavesdrop on their conversation.

A man with a scar across his face and a hook for one hand who was wearing a pimp coat and smoking a cigar was speaking. "I haven't heard that much. All I know for sure is that he's dead."

"How did he die?" A man with hawk-like eyes and a pimp hat asks.

"Last night."

"I thought for sure he'd never die," A black haired man with a goatee, top hat, and pigeon on his shoulder says. "Do you know what did him in?"

The first man yawns. "Who knows? As long as I can't catch it, I don't really care."

"Do you know what's being done with his money?" Asks a man with a blonde afro and insanely long earlobes.

"Don't know, probably left it with his company. All I know is that he didn't leave it to me."

The men laugh. Zoro frowns.

"It's likely to be a cheap funeral," the first man continues, "Because, for the life of me, I can't think of a soul that would actually attend!"

"I might go," the blonde afro man admitted, "but only if lunch is served." The group shares another laugh.

"Well, I don't eat lunch," the first man says, shaking ash off of his cigar, "and I don't wear black, so I'll only go if someone else is. Come to think of it, I was probably the man's greatest friend. We did used to stop and talk whenever we met." He gives a small wave, thus disbanding the group.

Zoro knew these men, and was about to ask the Ghost for an explanation, but the music started up again and the spirit was already walking away.

The Ghost lead them to the other side of the city, the side that Zoro will swear on whatever you want to whoever you want that he's never ever stepped foot in ever. After walking past numerous drunk and half naked undesirables, the spirit stops, physically and musically, outside of a small, dirty shop. Zoro takes this as an indication to go in, and does so, with the spirit following him in afterwards.

Inside is a giant, fat, pale man who Zoro thinks looks more like a bat than a human. Right after the Ghost comes through the door, a woman with her pink hair tied into pigtails and too much mascara comes in carrying a bundle, followed shortly by a tall man with long blonde hair and a ridiculous round hat. They both seem startled to see each other as well as the other man, a short, portly fellow with a long nose wearing sunglasses. Upon recognizing each other, however, they all share a laugh.

"Let me go first!" The woman exclaims. "Absalom can go second, and Hogback can go third. It's not like we all meant to meet here at the same time, so what do ya say, Moria?"

"Kishishishishi." The one called Moria laughs. "That's fine, Perona. This actually works out better for me." He gets up and pulls back a dingy old curtain to reveal another room. The three guests hurriedly make their way inside, Moria taking his time, allowing Zoro and the Ghost to slip in too.

Once everyone is inside, Moria turns on the florescent light, which blinks in and out a few times before coming on completely. Perona tosses her bundle on the ground and seats herself on the only chair in the room (which is actually a stool) while the other two just stand around awkwardly.

"It's a dog eat dog world out there," she was saying, "Every man, woman, and child for themselves. He always knew that."

"That's true," Absalom adds. "You could almost say he was doggone good at it." He chuckles at his own joke while the others just give him a look (Hogback actually shakes his head). Zoro rubs his temples and wonders how much more of this he's going to have to take.

"Okay…" Moria breaks the awkward silence, "Perona, you wanted to start, yes?"

"O-of course," she says nervously squirming on her stool. "I mean, who's going to miss a few trinkets like these? Certainly not a dead man." Absalom nods his head in agreement. "They're not even that cute anyway…besides, if he really wanted to keep them after death, he would have had someone look after them. Instead he pushed everyone away and just ended up dying alone."

"Foshfoshfosh," Hogback laughs. "Truer words have never been spoken, my dear."

"Hmph." She turns her gaze back to Moria. "Open the bundle Moria, let me know how much it's worth. I'm not afraid to be the first, nor do I care if these idiots see. I believe we all knew what we were getting into before we met here, so open it up!"

Before he can though, Hogback coughs and takes out his plunder first, giving it directly to Moria, who looks through it with a careful eye. There really isn't much; just a pencil case, some cufflinks, and an inexpensive brooch. Moria sighs when he realizes this is all, writes a number down, and pays the man.

"That's all I'm giving you, Hogback. Very disappointing show. Who's next?"

Absalom came forward and grabbed some things out of his hat: sheets and towels, some ties, two silver teaspoons, a pair of sugar tongs, and a boot.

"Where's the other one?" He just shrugged. Moria shakes a finger at him, "That's going to cost ya," before writing down another number and paying him as well.

"Now do mine! Do mine!" Perona practically screeches.

"I'm doing, I'm doing!" He gets down and unties her bundle, pulling out something heavy and dark.

"What the…are these his bed curtains?"

"Horohorohoro!" Perona laughs, causing Zoro to cringe. "Yup!"

"Didn't know they still made those anymore…" Absalom mumbles.

"Did you take them down, rings and all, with him just lying there?" Moria raises an eyebrow.

Perona shrugs and leans back a bit. "So what if I did?"

"Kishishishi. You sure were made for this kind of thing."

"I'm not going to hold back, especially for the kind of man he was, I promise you that."

Moria's attention, however, was turned back to her bundle. "His blankets?" He asks.

"Whose do you think they are? He's not going to be too cold without them."

"He had better not have died of anything contagious…" Hogback comments.

"I didn't stick around to catch anything, don't worry."

"He wasn't worried about you…" Absalom mutters, but Perona just ignores him.

"You can look at that shirt until your eyes bleed," Perona was saying as Moria held up said shirt, "but you won't find even a single hole. It's the best he had too. Would've been wasted if I hadn't found it."

"What would you call wasting it, I wonder?" Absalom asks.

"Horohorohoro, burying him in it, of course. Someone was trying to, but I took it before they could."

Zoro just stares at the laughing group in horror as they go through the rest of the spoils, thinking of them as no better than demons, marketing off of someone's death.

"Horohorohoro," Perona laughs as she nuzzles her considerably large bag of money from Moria, "This is the end, you see. He frightened everyone away while he was alive, only for us to profit now that he's dead." The group shares another cold laugh while Zoro shudders. The spirit has started playing and moving again, so he follows him back out to the street.

"I get it," Zoro says as they're walking, "I get what you're trying to do. The case of that unhappy man's could be my own, since my life is heading that way." The Ghost stops and turns to face him, sizing him up in his unseeing gaze for a bit, before striking a peculiar not on the violin.

Zoro opens his eyes, unaware of when exactly he closed them, to find himself in a dark room, too dark to make out anything except the completely bare bed, on which lay something under ratty old sheets. He glances around the room in order to find out where the Ghost has taken him, only to find that the entire room is almost completely empty, plundered to beyond recognition.

Slowly, he approaches the bed, only to find that the something happens to be a body. He's tempted to pull back that sheets and see who it is, but something holds him back from doing so.

"Okay," Zoro says, taking a few steps away from the bed, "you win. I'm officially creeped out. We can go someplace else now." The Ghost just looks at him, not making any move to pick up his violin again. "I promise, I won't forget the lesson I learned here, but can we just go please?"

He obliges by striking the same note on his violin, bringing them back to where they were before.

"It's…kinda sad," Zoro comments. "Isn't there anyone who feels anything for that man's death?"

The Ghost strikes a happier note on the instrument and Zoro finds himself in a poorly lit room with a tall, dark haired woman, anxiously pacing back and forth while looking at the clock, as if she's expecting someone. He can hear children playing in the other rooms.

Suddenly the door bursts open, revealing a man with a Mohawk, tattoos all over his face and arms, and a cigarette between his teeth, shouting, "Laki, I have wonderful news!"

She looks at her husband with wide eyes. "What is it Wiper? He's giving us an extension?"

"Never got the chance to ask him, seeing as he's dead."

Laki puts a hand to her mouth before collapsing in a nearby chair. "I know I shouldn't feel happy because of someone's death, but…"

Wiper walks over and pulls her up into hug. "It's okay, I understand."

"Do you know," she asks after a while, "who our debt is being transferred to?"

"No clue," He admits, "but it doesn't matter. It'll take them a while to figure that out, and by that time we'll have the money." Wiper raises her head up to look into her eyes. "We'll be free."

"Nice one," Zoro says. "I see what ya did there. You're a jerk, by the way." The Ghost, predictably, says nothing, but instead plays another note on the violin.

This time Zoro finds himself in a familiar house. Kaya and the children are all seated in the living room, Ninjin reading a story out loud while Kaya and the girls are sewing something. The warmth and laughter that Zoro found on his previous visit was gone. All of a sudden, he stops, and Kaya puts down whatever she is working on to bring a hand up to rub her eyes.

"The color hurts my eyes," she claims. Eventually she stops crying and looks at the clock. "The lighting in here makes my eyes weak, and it wouldn't do to show weak eyes to your father now would it? This is about the time he comes home."

"A bit past it, actually," Ninjin states.

"He usually-" she stops and takes a breath before starting again, "He usually walked home quite fast with Chopper on his shoulders."

"Yeah…" Aisa agrees, staring off into space.

Kaya picks up her work again. "But he was very light, and he did love him so…" Suddenly the door opens nosily and Usopp enters. Kaya immediately walks over to him, comforting him, and bringing him back to the couch while Aisa goes to get him some tea. When he sits down on the couch, Chimney climbs into his lap, bringing her stuffed rabbit-cat Gonbe with her. He manages to smile at them, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"Oh, look at these," he picks up the sewing that the girls were working on. "Why, these are simply amazing. Even someone as well rounded as me couldn't…" his praises die in his throat though. Kaya hurries over and sits by his side, hugging his shoulders and kissing his head.

"You went there today, didn't you Usopp?"

"Yeah…I wish you could have come too. You should see how green it is. I promised him…every Sunday…" at this point he finally breaks down and starts crying. Kaya hugs him all the tighter while Chimney wraps her hands around his neck and cries with him. Ninjin sniffles a bit before slamming the book shut and running upstairs, slamming his door shut on the way. This causes Aisa to break down crying too, but she just runs back into the kitchen instead.

Suddenly the Ghost is on the move again, playing his solemn violin, so Zoro follows him out the door, leaving the crying family behind him.

"I need to know," he says after they've walked for some time, "who was the man I saw lying dead? I know you're going to leave me soon, and that's fine, because you're a poor conversationalist and frankly, very creepy, but still. I need to know."

The spirit doesn't say anything and instead leads him into a graveyard. They continue walking until they reach the very back, the unattended area, where the gravesites are riddled with weeds and grass and the like, even in the snow.

The Ghost stops suddenly, extending his bow to point at one of the graves. Zoro cautiously walks forward, pausing just before reaching the gravestone.

"Before I look, these are just shadows of what might be, right? The things you've shown me? It possible they won't actually come to pass…right?"

The Ghost says nothing, just stands there with his bow extended, pointing at the grave.

Zoro steps forward again and crouches down to read the name on the headstone:

ZORO ROROANOA.

Startled, he falls backward and scrambles as far away from the grave as fast as he can.

"No no no no," he looks up at the spirit, "was I the one laying on the bed then?" He says nothing.

"No no no! That can't be right!" He turns and tugs at the Ghost's robe. "You've got to listen to me! I'm a changed man! Why show me these things if I'm past all hope?!" Zoro lets go of his robes and collapses back into the snow.

"I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all year round. I won't forget the lessons I've learned tonight. I will! I promise!" The Ghost responds by playing one last phrase on his violin.

All of a sudden, the graveyard vanishes, and Zoro finds himself back in his bed.


	5. Part V: Zoro's Rebirth

**Happy Holidays! I hope everyone has a wonderful whatever and a bright and shiny New Year!**

**And we're done. Thank you for sticking with me during this, and for both the actual support from those of you who reviewed and the mental support from the lurkers! It's all appreciated!  
**

* * *

Zoro looks around frantically, for indeed he was back in his bed, back in his room, this time with everything were it should be. He excitedly jumped out of bed and runs his hands over his bed curtains.

"They're still here…everything is still here," he laughs. "I'm not dead! I'm still alive! I will live my life to the fullest!" He runs over to the window and pulls it open, reveling in the cold wind that hits his face.

"I haven't felt this good in…ages." He smiles the first real smile he's had in years while gazing out over the city. He turns back in the room and he can imagine Sanji sitting in the same chair he sat in the night before, smoking on one of his cigarettes, with that cocky smirk on his face.

"_You're welcome, jackass."_

And Zoro figures he might owe him, just this once. "Thank you, bastard."

He gets dressed at the speed of light, only to realize he has no clue how long he was with his spirit friends and therefore, has no idea what day it is. He quickly rushes over to the window and sees a small boy with a head shaped like a pepper walking by.

"Hey kid!" Zoro calls out, causing the boy to stop and look up. "What day is today?"

The kid gives him a look like he's gone crazy. "Christmas…"

"Yes! I haven't missed it!" He turns his attention back to the boy, who's convinced that Zoro has lost his mind, and shouts, "Hey! You know that butchers down the street?"

"What about it?"

"Does it still have that prized turkey in the window? The really big one?"

"The one as big as me?" Zoro nods. "Well, yeah."

"Awesome." He tosses down a back of money. "Buy it for me and bring it here, would you?"

"It's as big as me…and you want me to drag it all the way down here?"

"Well…get someone to bring it here then. There's extra money in the bag for you if you do."

"Whatever." The boy walks away as Zoro closes the window and contemplates the idea of giving a boy he's never met before a bag of money to buy a turkey and expecting him to actually come back with it. He shrugs off any qualms he has about this by saying that it's Christmas and proceeds to write down Usopp's address to give him when he shows up with the turkey, which he does.

"Make sure it gets to this address, but don't tell him who sent it." Zoro tells the man who eventually brings him the turkey. "You can't carry that all the way there now, can you? Let me pay for your cab…"

"Usopp will have no idea who sent it. It's twice Chopper's size! My evil plan of happiness and Christmas spirit is coming into play." He allows himself a small chuckle before heading out the door himself.

Zoro walks down the street, whistling a merry tune and smiling at all the merry people he sees. Two of these merry people happen to be the man and woman who came into his office last night. With his new found cheer he felt horrible about blowing them off like he did. He quickly catches up to them and claps both their shoulders to get their attention.

"Merry Christmas!" He shouts cheerfully.

"M-Mr. Zoro!" The man exclaims.

"M-merry Christmas to you too…" The woman acknowledges.

"Indeed. I'm sorry about how I treated you yesterday. Allow me to make it up to you with a donation of…" Zoro leans in to whisper an obscure amount into the man's ear.

"Y-you w-what!" The man blinks

"Are you serious?" The woman arches an eyebrow at him.

"Dead serious. Not a penny less."

"Well," the woman, the more coherent of the two, goes on, "I don't really know what to say…"

"Then don't say anything. Just come by my office tomorrow."

"O-of course!" The man finally manages to get out. Zoro smiles and walks away while the man shouts "Merry Christmas!" after him, which he acknowledges with a wave.

Zoro finds himself outside his cousin's house, nervously pacing the sidewalk in front of it, receiving awkward stares from the people passing by.

"I'm not scared," he mutters to himself, "and I'm not nervous or anything. I have no reason to be…he invited me after all."He eventually walks up the steps on knocks on the door.

Franky eventually answers, shouting, "You know what'll work best!" over his shoulder before turning to face his guest. When he does, his lifts his sunglasses up to make sure he's seeing what he thinks he's seeing.

"Zoro…Cuz…you actually came."

Zoro blushes and looks down awkwardly. "Well, its Christmas and you're family. You did invite me, but if you'd rather not have me…"

"No!" He exclaims right before pulling him into a rib-breaking hug if Zoro's ribs were the type that broke. "I just didn't think you'd make it. Come in!" He puts him down inside, shuts the door, and leads him into the kitchen where Robin is. "Robin! Look who showed up! It's Cousin Zoro!"

"Cousin Zoro!" She says, shocked, but she recovers quickly. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Same to you." He nods. "Do you need help with anything? Since I'm here and all…" Zoro turns when he hears sniffling behind him.

"Cuz…you actually showed up…and you're offering to help…" Franky bursts out into full blown tears. Zoro's a bit worried, but Robin just smiles. "This is the best Christmas ever!" Robin chuckles from behind her hand while Zoro breaks out a cheerful grin.

He ends up staying at his cousin's house well into the next morning, partying, meeting all of Franky's friends he saw in with the Ghost the night before, and drinking them all under the table. Nevertheless, the next morning he's in his office bright and early, waiting for Usopp.

The clock strikes nine and no Usopp. Nine fifteen comes and goes, and still no Usopp. At around nine twenty though, Usopp finally bursts through the door and makes his way to his desk.

"Usopp!" he calls in as fierce a voice as he could manage, "Do you know what time it is?"

"I'm very sorry, Sir. I got a bit caught up on the way over here…"

"I don't want to hear one of your stories."

"Right. Sorry. It's only once a year though…it won't happen again…"

"Usopp, get in here."

Usopp yelps before inching his way into his boss's office to loiter in the doorway.

"I can't stand for this sort of thing anymore, which is why…" Usopp starts sweating, thoughts of Kaya and Chopper and medical bills racing through his head, "I'm giving you a raise."

"I'm sorry! Think of the children!" Usopp blinks as he takes in what his boss actually said. "What?"

Zoro laughs a merry laugh that Usopp isn't accustomed to hearing from his mouth. "Yes, I'm giving you a raise. Think of it as a sort of Christmas gift to help raise your struggling family. Do you need to sit down?" He asks, as his employee has gone quite pale.

"Hm? Yes…sit down…sounds good…" He takes a seat in the chair opposite of Zoro. "Mr. Zoro…giving me a raise…I must be dreaming…"

"Considering all of the stories you've made up over the years, I hope you have more interesting dreams than this." Zoro shakes his head. "Anyway, we'll discuss your affairs later, over lunch or dinner. Sound good?"

"Yes…very…"

And Zoro was as good as his word. He did it all, and infinitely more. To little Chopper, who did not die, he became like a second father, especially after he funded the lad's research to finding a cure for his disease. That definitely earned him some brownie points. He became as good a friend, as good an employer, and as good a man as the old city knew, or any other city, town, borough, or lunar colony in existence. Some people laughed at him for his change, and he let them laugh, for he knew that nothing good ever came about without people laughing, and frankly, he found it rather amusing.

He never saw Sanji or the other Ghosts again, but still, it was said of him that he always knew how to keep Christmas in his heart, better than any other man could. With that, there's only one thing left to be said, as Chopper but it best:

"_God bless us, everyone!"_


	6. Part VI: The Omake that Knew it All

**I hope everyone is having an awesome 2010! I present the super-secret omake, mostly consisting of a few What Ifs? among other things.**

**Have a spectacular new decade and I hope it's better than the last one!**

**Anon. Revews:**

**JFlower: **Thank you very much! Your kind words touch my heart. I'll try if I have time. :)

**

* * *

Ghost Party**

_**Have you noticed that the Ghosts never get invited to the after parties? **_

Sanji sighs while looking into Franky's window. The Christmas party is still going full swing, Zoro surprisingly being some sort of life of the party. The ghost sighs again.

"It's great that he's saved himself, but…"

"It's a shame that, despite everything we've done for him, we can't go to the party too." He turns to find the Ghost of Christmas Past approaching him.

"~Everything's a party when you're around, my lovely Ms. Past!!!!!!~"

"Yes, but still," she approaches the window and sighs as well, "It would be nice if we got invited to _one_ after party. How long have we been doing this?"

"Oh, cheer up!" They both look up to find the Ghost of Christmas Present sitting on the roof, piece of meat in each of his hands. "Now, no one notices when you take some food! It's great!"

"Present, you can't just go stealing the humans' food all the time," Past glares at him, "and aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"I got better." He jumps down only to be met by a fist crashing into his head, causing him to collapse to the ground.

"You can't get better from death!"

"He's supposed to be dead too!" He points and accusing at Sanji.

"That's _why_ I'm a ghost. I was _human_, so now I'm a _ghost_. You, on the other hand…" Sanji waves him off and takes a drag from his never ending cigarette.

"So, since I was a ghost, and now I'm dead, does that make me human?" Sanji bangs his head against the window pane while Past face palms.

"Yohoho!" They all turn to see the new intruder, a cloaked figure, approaching them. Sanji turns back to the window again while Past huffs and turns away. Present stands up to great him with an exuberant, "Yo! Future! What took you so long?" while the spirit in question pulls his hood down to reveal his skull face and afro.

"Ah, very sorry, I had this and that to deal with…"

"Don't tell me you were 'stuck' in _that_ part of town again…" Past says.

"And you _didn't _invite me?" Sanji asks appalled. Past delivers a punch of justice to both of their craniums.

"Yohoh! Ms. Past, you're fists are as sharp as ever!" He stands up and walks over to the window to peer inside. "I see Mr. Zoro is happy for a change. That's good; I hate scaring people like that…"

"Cheer up Future," Present springs forward to wrap an arm around his shoulders, "It's all for the best! Look how happy he is!"

"Yes, he's just so happy isn't he?" Past grumbles. "And what about us? What do _we_ get for everything we've done for the bastard? Nothing." She sits down on the front steps and sighs.

"Don't worry Ms. Past!!" Sanji lunges forward to get on his knees and take her hand. "We'll have our own party, just the two of us!"

"Yeah!" Present skids on over next to them. "We can have our own Christmas party!"

"Yohoho! That's a wonderful idea, Mr. Sanji. I can provide the music." He states, strumming his ever present violin to make his point.

"The party is just for me and Ms. Past, shit-heads!"

"But Sanji, I want a lot of people at my party…"

"~Anything for you, Ms. Past!~"

"Then it's settled," She pulls out her ghostly cell phone. "I'll call Bloody Vivi. I'm sure she hasn't seen anything like this in ages. Future, you call the Headless Horseman-"

"D-do I have to?" The spirit shivers. "H-he's so scary…"

"But he's the biggest gossip I ever met. If we want a lot of people at this thing, then he's the guy to spread the word.

"Whoo! Party! I'll call all my relatives!" Present shouts as he runs off.

"Well that covers half the cosmos." Sanji sighs. "Oh well, maybe this won't turn out to be that bad…"

**Chain Wars**

_**Lady Emzebel and I were talking about what would happen if Zoro actually had died and ended up with the chains. We came to the conclusion that an epic chain war would commence.**_

"This sucks." Zoro states simply as he drags his chains somewhere in the Sahara desert.

"I told you didn't I? 'Change your life or you'll end up dragging giant chains around the world forever and ever.' You have no one to blame for this but yourself." Sanji replies.

"Psh, if you can do it, then I can do it too, but better."

"Then stop complaining and start dragging shit-head!"

They continue in silence for some time before Sanji breaks it. "How exactly can you be better at dragging chains then me anyway? I have years of death before you, so I'm far more experienced with the chain dragging thing then you could ever hope to be."

"Obviously, since I lived longer, my sins are greater, and my chains are longer. So clearly I'm better than you."

"Longer chains mean you're _worse _than me, idiot."

"No, because my chains are longer, that means I have to drag more of them, so clearly, since I'm dragging more weight then you here, I'm that many times better."

"I've been doing this for years upon years. That's non-stop labor! You're just some noob who just came waltzing in here."

"So? I'm still better than you."

"As if shit-head!"

The Greater Powers that Be decide that it might just be easier to let them both live again if only to shut up their incessant racket.

**What if: Nami was Scrooge and Sanji was Cratchet?**

_**When the idea for this originally came into my head, almost everyone had a different role than they did in the final draft, as one reason or another forced me to move them all around. I like how it all turned out, and Dandy actually did do this one brilliantly by making Usopp a second Cratchet, but still, I do wonder…**_

"Sanji!" the man in questions demon of a boss barks at him from her office as he's leaving, "I expect you in bright and early tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow's Christmas Day, Ms. Nami!"

"So?"

"Good point. Shall I bring you a present Ms. Nami?"

"I'm not getting you anything, and it better be expensive."

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Ms. Nami!!"

Later that night, Nami has the unfortunate experience of being visited by her late business partner, Zoro Roronoa.

"NAMI!" He screeches. "I'm here to warn you-"

"Gah! Scary!" She screams in a surprisingly girly fashion. "Make it go away!"

"That won't work now, Nami…" they both pause to listen to footsteps making their way up the stairs. Suddenly the door bursts open revealing the culprit to be Sanji.

"Get away from Ms. Nami you perverted shitty-ghost!" He shouts as he lands a kick square in Zoro's chest and manages to launch him out the window.

"Good work Sanji."

"Anything for you Ms. Nami!!"

"Don't think this means I will tolerate having you show up a minute late tomorrow!"

"Of course not!"

"Now get out! I need my rest."

"Right away Ms. Nami!"

Outside, Zoro mutters a few curses as he gets up.

"Screw it. You can have the chains."

And so Nami stays set in her ways, stepping on all the little people and basically just making everyone's life thoroughly miserable until Sanji's wife, Vivi, snaps one day and poisons her coffee. The End.

**What if: Robin was the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come?**

_**Before Franky showed up I did ship Zoro and Robin…I guess it just never really leaves you.**_

Zoro looks up to see that a figure clad in a black robe approaching him. When it gets closer he can see that it is clearly female…clearly…female…

A quick slap to the face from where Zoro isn't too sure forces him to look at his new companions face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to stare at your boobs, not that I was staring at your boobs, I mean you can't blame me, they're pretty nice, not that I would know because I wasn't staring-"

He swears he can faintly hear her mutter _'Cien Fleur'_ before he feels nothing else but a world of pain.

"Future! You were supposed to help him, not kill him!" Sanji complains while she just glares at him. "Although, it's probably better this way…somehow."

**What If: Luffy was Cratchet?**

_**First Sanji was going to be Cratchet because I like Daddy!Sanji, then Luffy was supposed to be Crachet, then I toyed with the idea of making Robin a female Cratchet before finally settling on Usopp.**_

"I'm home!" Luffy shouts as he comes in the house.

"Daddy!" Some kids whose names he has forgotten cling to his legs.

"Where were you?" Margaret, his wife, asks from the kitchen. "Zoro called; apparently you haven't been at work for a week! You haven't been here either."

"Office life is so boring…so I went out on an adventure instead."

"What about us, your family? What about tiny Chopper's medical bills?"

"If he's a real man he'll get over it without modern science's help."

Luffy ducks as a frying pan comes rather close to his head.

"Out out out! If you can't provide for this family then just get out!"

"Ack!" Luffy turns and runs for his life.

Margaret gets job as assistant to diva Boa Hancock. She excels here due to the never ending patience she got thanks to her husband. She eventually gets a massive raise when her boss goes through some radical personality changes seeming overnight that Margaret just pins on a Christmas miracle. Chopper, as it turns out, was man enough to get over his illness by himself.

**What If: Sanji was Scrooge?**

_**My first instinct was to make Sanji the main character…**_

"Vivi, I expect you in bright and early tomorrow." Sanji states without looking up from his paperwork.

"But…sir, tomorrow's Christmas Day." He looks his secretary right in the eye.

"…"

"…"

"~Then of course you can have the day off!~"

"And well, Mr. Sanji…"

"What is it?"

"Um…my son…his medical bills are getting a little out of hand…"

"What do you want a raise or something?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"~Of course you can have a raise!~"

"Thank you Mr. Sanji! You're the best boss ever!" She waves cheerily as she exits the building.

"Something seems a bit…off," Sanji observes. "Oh well, it's not my problem."


End file.
